Saturday
Cleo and Gary were admittedly squeezing their nuptials in between
solving crimes, but there was a good reason for hurrying things along, of
course, and that was the impending birth of Cleo’s twins.
By the time the happy couple were ready to leave the cottage
with the two girls and their paternal grandmother. Dressed ceremonially in rose
pink, it was getting perilously late.
At the Registry Office, Cleo’s mother and Romano were
nervous. All the guests had arrived at the registry office and even Mrs Cosby,
who was quite used to couples having second thoughts about their commitment and
avoiding it altogether by simply staying away, was not quite at her ease. Such
a devoted couple would surely not shirk the simple ceremony.
***
Eventually, a carful of Hurleys and potential Hurleys
arrived.
It would be churlish not to describe the outfits. The little
girls looked were not only dressed in pink, but carrying baskets of rose
petals. Grit’s darker pink outfit was designer ware and must have cost the
earth. You did not need to read the labels to know that her outfit had not been
acquired at Milton’s, Middlethumpton’s frumpy fashion emporium
The glowing bride, mindful of the fact that she had been
married twice before and had a very visible baby bump, had chosen a pale blue
silk outfit that flowed. Gary looked handsome in his dinner jacket. Nigel, who
had been designated the Best Man role, had definitely done his best at a smart gentlemen’s
outfitters in Oxford. Dorothy, who was to be the maid of honour, had also
dressed elegantly, wearing a hat that Gary thought might be unfinished, so
scanty was it.
***
Mrs Colby fortunately kept the blather to a minimum, so the ceremony
was short and sweet, much to the relief of the main protagonists. Romano stood
at the back of the majestically decorated ceremonial room. He was torn between
watching the wedding and guarding the wedding breakfast he had created with so
much enthusiasm and love for his friends.
At last, the wedding party could toast Cleo and Gary in Italian
prosecco and French champagne and ate mountains of canapés lovingly concocted
by the maternal grandmother. Gloria was at her most colourful since she had
chosen to wear the African robe and turban that she had worn at Cleo’s two previous
wedding as well as wearing them in the stage shows in which she had recently
performed.
Everything went as planned except for the unexpected and
uninvited presence of Robert Jones, Cleo’s 2nd ex-husband, who had
crept in when everyone else was seated and crept out again while the invited
guests were involved with kissing and hugging the bride and groom.
Robert would have got away without being seen by anyone
except that Edith, who had been invited though Gary thought it was asking for
trouble, saw him retreating and called out.
Cleo and Gary assumed that Edith had made sure he knew where
and when the wedding would take place. Gary wondered what the guy was hoping
for. Cleo wondered how Robert was coping with - or hopefully without – Edith’s
sex overdrive. In what transpired to be an open and shut case against her,
Edith had been freed on compassionate grounds, and not for the first time. She
had a knack of appealing to a judge’s sympathy.
***
Mrs Cosby noticed the strangely frigid contact between Edith
and Robert. He was trying valiantly to keep his distance while Edith sidled up
to him and was obviously anxious for physical contact. When Edith actually ran
after the retreating Robert, Mrs Colby wondered if both people were the exes of
the couple who had just married.
“Tell her what happened, Cleo, so that she stops looking so
curious,” said Gary, seeing Mrs Colby’s puzzlement.
“Now?”
“Why not?”
“OK.”
***
Cleo went up to Mrs Cosby and explained that Edith Parsnip had
been freed from prison twice and Robert Jones was running away from the woman’s
propensity for forcing sex on the poor man.
Mrs Cosby was shocked. Cleo told her that Edith had probably
poisoned her husband, a clergyman, and been released because the appeals court
did not think there was enough evidence to convict her.
The second potential imprisonment
was after she raped the guy who had just been trying to get away from her. He had
suffered humiliation and pain from her savage sex attacks. This time she had
been freed on compassionate grounds, since she had five sons to rear.
“So she isn’t Mr Hurley’s ex-wife.”
“No,” said Cleo. “But the guy running away is my ex-husband.”
Mrs Colby could not envisage Cleo being married to someone
who was so anxious to beat a hasty retreat from that harmless-looking woman.
Cleo filled in a few more gaps in the story.
The vicar left home to go to Africa, financed in secret by
his wife, who had been saving up for years to make an evangelical journey
possible for the vicar and - Cleo felt bound to add - to give her more scope
for a life of her own.
“What a story!” said
Mrs Colby.
“There’s more,” said Cleo. “The vicar escaped from a
successful plot to kill the guy who had volunteered to drive him to the airport
and eventually turned up at the house of a Miss Snow in Huddlecourt Minor. Miss
Snow told Edith Parsnip about her visitor but the vicar’s wife told her she
could keep him.”
“Well, I never,” said Mrs Colby.
“I should mention that the vicar had problems with Miss
Snow’s identity, since he had been attracted to her half-sister, a woman who
looked just like her but was dead. What’s more, Edith had seduced Robert Jones even
before the vicar left for Africa.”
“Amazing that such a harmless-looking person was capable of
such mischievous behaviour,” said Mrs Colby.
“Never judge by appearances, Mrs Colby. I should mention
that my ex left me for the vicar’s wife at the end of a bad marriage just when
I was ready to leave him,” Cleo finished. “You see, Mrs Cosby, I married the
wrong man last time and the time before.”
“You would not be the first,” said Mrs Cosby.
Gary signalled desperately to Cleo to join him. The wedding
guests were eager to celebrate with the bride and groom and the girls were
over-excited. Gloria sang a Spiritual, but fortunately not a lugubrious one. Romano
raised his robust tenor voice in a solo version of Ave Maria. Eventually the reception
ended. Gary was stone sober and very angry that Robert had shown up. It had
taken the shine off things for him.
“You must have told Mrs Colby all about Edith,” Gary remarked
on the drive home. “It took you long enough.”
“Are you going to tell me, too?” Grit wanted to know.
“Not in front of the children,“ said Gary. “Later, when they
are in bed.”
Charlie and PeggySue had laid their heads on Grit’s lap in
the back of the car.
“You can tell me now. The children are fast asleep.”
“Charlie sleeps with one ear open,” said Gary.
“Only one, Daddy,” said Charlie.
“See what I mean?”
***
Cleo had been silent since they started their drive home.
Stuck in the local football traffic, Gary thought it would take ages to get out
of town.
***
Cleo turned round to look at Grit meaningfully before asking
Gary to make a detour.
“A detour? Don’t you want to go home?”
“I have a feeling that we should drop me off somewhere else instead.”
“For heaven’s sake, where?” said Gary, who had stopped the
car and looked concerned. “Are you OK, Mrs Hurley?”
“Just do as Cleo says,” said Grit sternly. “I’m sure your
wife knows why.”
“But I don’t, Mother. What’s going on?”
“Just do it, Gary,” said Cleo, wincing a little. “Don’t
panic. We have up to two hours.”
Gary gasped.
“You don’t mean…?”
“I do mean. All that excitement and emotion was simply too
much.”
“OK. Just keep calm. Don’t panic,” said Gary.
“You are the only one panicking,” said Grit.
“It’s OK, Gary. I’m just fine,” said Cleo. “Drop me off at
the maternity unit and get the family home, then you can come back. By then…”
“By then….?”
“You could be the father of twins. I thought you understood
that is what is happening,” said Cleo.
“I just thought it was a tiny crisis.”
“I suppose that’s one way of describing it,” said Grit. “I
expect you knew what was happening when we got into the car, didn’t you, Cleo?”
“Sure. I just didn’t want Gloria making a fuss.”
“Good God, Cleo. You are cutting it fine,” said Gary.
“Not really,” said Cleo, “but it’s time I got to that
delivery room.”
”What about your suitcase?”
“Bring it when you come back, please. I won’t need it until
later.”
“Are you sure?”
“Sure I’m sure. You can witness the births if you don’t
dawdle too much.”
“Mother, will I want to?” Gary asked Grit.
“I think it’s expected of you, Gareth.”
Gary looked at her sternly through the rear mirror.
“OK. Gary. Sorry I forgot. I’m excited, too,” said Grit.
***
Meanwhile they had reached the hospital. The traffic had
fortunately eased off. Gary got out and helped Cleo, who didn’t need or want any
help. She did not need the wheelchair to the maternity ward either, but Gary
insisted. He was a nervous wreck.
“Please take the family home,” said Cleo, gathering her new
husband in a comforting hug. “The girls are tired and Grit can look after them.
I won’t run away, Gary.”
“Je t’aime,” said Gary, overcome by his own emotions.
“Moi aussi,” said Cleo, not a bit overcome. “Just stop
fussing and don’t hang around at home!”
***
Cleo was relieved when Gary returned to his car and drove
off.
“He was making me nervous,” she told a paramedic as she
tried to get out of the wheelchair. The paramedic would not hear of her
walking. She was wheeled in state to the maternity ward, where the midwife took
one look at her and said she thought it was high time to get ready for the
event.
“Can I take my mobile in?” said Cleo.
“No. It might disturb the sensitive instruments. Put it off
and enjoy what’s happening,” said the midwife on duty, and Cleo winced again.
The midwife timed the contractions.
“Under 2 minutes,” she said.
“Wow,” said Cleo. “They are in a hurry.”
“Have you had precipitated labour before, Miss Hartley?
“It’s Mrs Hurley now. Only once.”
“Better phone that husband of yours, then,” she instructed,
hurrying to get a proper phone.
“Get moving now,” Cleo told Gary over the phone.
“I’m already on my way,” shouted Gary. “Wait for me!”
“Babies don’t wait,” said Cleo.
“He sounds a bit hysterical, Miss Hartley,” said the second
midwife, who had hurried in because twins were expected.
“Mrs Hurley,” said Cleo. “We got married a few hours ago.”
“Not a day too soon, if I may say so,” said the first
midwife. “Remember to breathe, Mrs Hurley.”
Soon Gary swept in wearing the starched blue overall and
latex gloves that partners had to put on before they could get into the
delivery room.
“Have you sterilized your hands, Mr Hurley?” the midwife
wanted to know.
“I’m wearing gloves.”
“So you are.”
“Where is she?”
“Right here, my love,” Cleo called.
“You are brave,” said Gary. “I feel a bit faint.”
“You’d better sit down, Mr Hurley,” advised the second
midwife. “This is not the place for weaklings.”
It did not take much longer until Gary found himself the
father of twins.
“Wow, Cleo. They are both boys,” he shouted.
“Sure.”
“Did you already know?”
“Sure.”
“You’re in the way now, Mr Hurley,” said one of the midwives.
“Bravo for not fainting. Many fathers do. Why don’t you take a closer look at
your babies and then go for a strong black coffee in the restaurant?”
Gary followed the midwife to an examination table warmed
from above by infrared lamps and was presently marvelling at the two identical
babies all over again.
“I can’t believe it!” he said. “I made two such beautiful
sons.”
“Not by yourself,” Mr Hurley.
“How will I tell them apart?”
“Labels, Mr Hurley.”
“You’ll have to make way for me now,” said the attending
paediatrician. “Why don’t you get that coffee and then take your wife’s
suitcase to her room? We’ll bring the babies and your wife as soon as they have
been tended to and you can take some really nice photos.”
Gary went back to Cleo and thanked her emotionally before
doing what the doctor had advised. He phoned home from the restaurant and
talked to Grit. He was amazed to hear that she had known all along that the
twins were boys. He was so overcome by it all that he had problems keeping back
the tears and no time to lodge a reproach that he had not been let into the
secret.
“Of course Cleo phoned as soon as she could, so the girls
know about the birth, too. Charlie is delighted,” said Grit. “Stay with your family
for a while and give Cleo a big hug from me.”
***
Gary grabbed Cleo’s suitcase, which he would have forgotten
had not his mother put it into his hand as he left home, and hurried to Cleo’s room.
He could not help noticing that Cleo had been in a much better state
emotionally than he was.
“Having babies comes easily to me,” Cleo later explained.
“It’s almost more than I can take,” said Gary.
***
Cleo was wheeled in and found herself comforting Gary.
“Where are the babies?” he said.
“Here they are, Mr Hurley,” said a nurse, as she wheeled in
the hospital cot containing two small but very robust looking infants.
It was a designer – if rather premature - happy ending.
***
Having recovered slightly from the birthing experience, Gary
was worried that there were still too many unsolved crimes and Cleo would have
no time for anything but the babies.
“Come on, Gary,” said Cleo. “What’s in a crime?”
“I know you will be busy with the twins, but I’ll be glad
when you are home and we can at least talk about the jobs in hand,” said Gary.
“Correction. You’ll be glad,” said Cleo. “Why don’t you stop
worrying? Just be happy!”
“I am happy,” said Gary.
“Then smile!” said Cleo. “I don’t want a grumpy husband.”
***
Gary pondered over Cleo’s words on the drive home a while
later, much of which time had been spent just staring at the infants and being
the first to witness the logistic challenge of feeding two infants at once. His
digital camera had worked overtime to capture the various angles offered to
him.
Gary was so exhilarated by the day’s events that he wondered
out loud to Grit if he could ever take his job seriously again
“You’d better,” was Grit’s advice. “You have four children
to feed and educate, Gary.”
“Cleo wants a houseful,” said Gary.
“Don’t you?” said Grit.
“Ask me another time,” said Gary. “I’m trying to understand
my life right now. Out of the blue I’m married to my dream woman and have four
children.”
“Get some sleep,” said Grit. “You are in shock.”
***
Gary drove his excited family to the hospital straight after
Sunday breakfast and was later glad they had made the effort to get their
before the mainstream of visitors.
“My brothers are very pink and not very brown,” said Charlie
when she had taken a long look at the little boys. “Have they got Daddy’s toes?
PeggySue has Daddy’s toes.”
It had taken Charlie to observe that in PeggySue. The extra
space between the first and second toes meant that there did not have to be a
gene test to find out who PeggySue’s biological father was. But that was also
made superfluous by the exposure of Robert’s inability to father children.
“Take a look, Charlie,” said Cleo.
“They have the Hurley toes,” said Charlie. The tiny feet
were fortunately not covered up in baby-grows with feet since they were triple
wrapped in what used to be known as swaddling clothes. were
wheeled away to the safety of the baby ward.
“I think we’ll have a lot of visitors,” Cleo explained. “I
don’t want them breathing all over the twins.”
Cleo had not told Gary that she was going to tell everyone about
the arrival of the twins. Everyone’s reaction had been a phone-call with Gary
as soon as it was daylight, and even before Gary had time to wake up after
haunting the cottage until Grit insisted on him taking one of her sleeping
pills.
***
Any notion of keeping his family to himself was a delusion.
Gary could be forgiven for being overwhelmed by it all. He had to admit that dealing
with felons was plain sailing compared with dealing with the stream of
well-wishers who found their way to Cleo’s room that Sunday morning. Cleo was
walking around happily enjoying the fuss and making a fuss of her two
daughters. No one was taking much notice of him, he noted. Gary wanted to shout
out “I’m the father,” but Cleo would have disapproved, so he didn’t.
The excited visitors eventually left. Cleo fed the hungry
twins while Charlie and Grit watched and Gary carried PeggySue around. Then
there were hugs all round and the family drove home leaving Cleo to rest. Gary
would return alone later. He thought he would take a siesta too. Cleo thought
he should take something to calm his nerves.
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